I have struggled with so many things as a Christian who is chasing after the Lover. I struggled with some promises in Psalm 1 (read about it here), I struggled with constantly meditating on God’s word. My mind just kinda wanders when I least expect it. But the major struggle I have had to deal with is “trying” to believe God is good in the face of chaos. My mind just keeps wondering “if God is good why did this happen to me?”. Has this happened to you before? Give me a so I know I’m not crazy, at least.
Like I was saying, this was my number one struggle as a Christian and as you can imagine every time, I had a challenge (which was often, amen) I’d start to doubt the goodness of God. You could say, I would be back at zero faith. Why? Because I was trying to reason out my circumstances and trying to figure out why God allowed it. When all I needed to do was “trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding”. But mba, I ALWAYS did the opposite (can I be honest?).
2016 was THE year that I struggled with this the most, the situation was sooooo bad, you’d probably cry with me if I gave you details (but no pity party here, okay?). That year, I was depressed and in my depression I’d constantly meditate on one question, one question alone “if God is good, why would He let this happen to me?” and as you can guess, tears will start to rain. Ah, Arin can be dramatic (I know).
Then after thinking that for so many days, guess God finally thought “sigh, we can’t continue to look at her like this. Can we? “
Eventually, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart “your current circumstance might not be good but that does not mean that God is not good neither does it mean that He’ll not make it work together for your good”. My first response to that was “oh even God knows this situation is bad, so I’m not overreacting? Okay”. I told you I’m dramatic, didn’t I? .
Anyways, after that, there were still times that I cried o. And many times that I threw tantrums but deep down in my heart, I had “hope” because I now believed he’ll make it work together for good.
Back to you, are you in a less than good circumstance??? Are you in despair to the point that you’re beginning to question the goodness of God like I was?? If you’re, there’s no need to be ashamed. Okay? But there’s need to believe that “all things works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” Romans 8:28.
If you have to pin it on your wall, on your phone or wherever, please do. Meditate on it day and night till you start to believe it. Because really, no matter how bad that situation seems God can and God will work it together for your good.
One last thing, whenever that evil thought comes again “if God is good why did he let this happen?”, respond by faith and say “my current circumstance might not be good but that does not mean God is not good neither does it mean that He will not make it work together for my good”.
